Thursday, December 29, 2011
I swear I asked him how I would feel and if I would see double after surgery and he told me I would be just fine. His "just fine" meant that the first 7 days would suck and in about 10 days I would be fine. I took it to mean that I will be fine right after surgery. That's the expectation I had when I was sent home with the orders of "take tylenol for discomfort." I didn't realize that my eye would ache some 5 days post-op and would require major narcotics and muscle relaxers to ease the pain. I didn't realize that my double vision would make it hard to drive and nearly impossible to shop (just a few days before Christmas). I also didn't realize that the "shiner" I would develop per my Doc was more like a rainbow of colors on the normally white parts of my eye than a typical black eye we all think of when the term shiner is used.
It's all good. I just have to apologize to my husband and kids for being a total lump on Christmas day trying not to puke from the Vicodin, and more to my husband for not picking up any last minute gifts for him to open Christmas morning. I have to thank my husband for doing basically everything around the house for the past week - all with a smile on his face.
So I got my New Year wish of single vision - now I need to shop!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
1. My printer is just steps away from my desk.
2. My walk from the parking lot to my building is covered.
3. Lives are not hanging in the balance based on the actions I take.
4. My work/life balance rocks.
5. I get to travel.
1. Everyone is healthy.
2. We all (4) live in the same house every day.
3. My kids are smart and kind, so is my husband.
4. We get to eat dinner together a few times every week.
5. I can hear giggles and horseplay on a Saturday mornings before the grown-ups have gotten out of bed.
ME, ME, ME
1. I have true friends.
2. My hair is versatile.
3. I have big eyes with great lashes.
4. I am sincerely generous.
5. I have a great sense of humor – Lord knows it’s required!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
On a lighter note - I did manage to complete 2 weeks of something called the I-Diet, which is no more than a 1200 calorie per day menu plan that attempts to curb your cravings. Most days, I would rather eat 1200 calories of crap to lose weight, but I did manage to stick to it for awhile. My problem is I don’t enjoy having to “stick” to anything. That is where the exercise factor comes along. If I could just make exercise a habit, what I eat wouldn’t matter so much.
And now that Halloween is over and I have about 7 pounds of candy calling my name, I’d better get back on the exercise train, or else. I refuse to hover back into the 140’s and quite frankly, I deserve to be in the 120’s if I do say so myself.
There’s always tomorrow. . . I have already started the day off poorly - A few handfuls of candy corn and more than a handful of assorted chocolate snack-sized candy bars. I’m meeting a friend out after work, so I’m sure dinner won’t be the healthiest, and I’ll be lucky to avoid any wine. Not to mention the late-night dip I know I’m going to take into the candy bowl at my house when I get home
I have been watching some good TV lately, although I’ve obviously broken my rule about watching it only from the treadmill. In my bed, under the covers at 5am is SO much more appealing! Perhaps if I write it, I will do it. Don’t hold your breath, but I suppose it’s worth a try! Treadmill, tomorrow morning it is. My current line-up includes some great new shows like American Horror Story and Once Upon a Time.
P.S. – I haven’t officially written about my surfing lesson. I’ll get working on that – since there’s a possibility I might get the chance to surf next week in TX!! I did order one of those stupid family stick figure stickers (including both dogs) for my car. I almost got one for the cat (with angle wings), since he died last year. I know – what is happening to me? My image is of a surfer! It’s so obnoxious – I love it!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
This picture says it all. Actually, this only shows about 10% of her room. But trust me, the other 90% is just as bad if not worse. Articles on the floor include dirty clothes, dog toys, stickers, lip balm, books, hairbrushes, ribbons, trash, jewelry, shoes, pom-poms, wrapping paper, an assortment of glitter, a pillow, a pillow pet, and an oar. That’s right, a wooden oar and I have no clue.
Now before we begin, let’s examine the resources she has available to her on a daily basis. It’s not like she doesn’t have the proper tools she needs to keep a clean room. You may be surprised to know that an entire bookcase in her room is full of rectangular baskets that are currently empty. It’s as if each night she just dumps the contents of said baskets onto the floor. I am careful to ensure that she has ample storage room for her belongings. Everything I listed above that is on her floor right now, does have a proper home in her room.
In my futile quest to instill in her a modicum of responsibility, I have tried a variety of approaches to get her to straighten up. When she was 3, the “toy fairy” would come at night and abscond with any toys she left on the floor. The fairy would in turn deliver them to boys and girls who kept their rooms neat and tidy. That worked for a week or 2. Then the fairy got lazy and kind of pissed off that expensive toys were left out and the fairy didn’t feel like throwing away significant investments. A couple years later, we tried the old, you-cannot-watch-TV-until-your-room-is-straightened-up threats. In lieu of TV, she would just stay in her room and make even MORE of a mess. Then we got our new puppy. Surely the site of her dog turning her toys, books and even shoes into chew toys would be the perfect deterrent. Not so much. She’s perfectly fine with her things being destroyed (because she knows I’ll replace the important items) and she’s fine with the mess (she doesn’t take up all that much room on her bed) She’s fine with her clean clothes sitting folded on her bed and not in her drawers (they’re easier to grab on the bed) and the open dresser drawers just don’t bother her at all.
Part of me just wants to leave it this way and let her bury herself in her crap. A tiny part of me wonders if she’s got serious hoarding tendencies. She does LOVE cats. Hmmmm.
The other part of me can’t wait to get it all straightened up. But I know in a matter of days, it will go back to the way it is now. I want to be able to commit to not buying her ANYTHING unless her room is kept clean. I’ve even considered stripping her room of EVERYTHING except a clean change of clothes – a strategy I hear on Dr. Laura’s radio show almost daily. But I just don’t have the gumption or the storage room to do it.
What are YOUR strategies to keeping kids’s rooms clean and organized? Or do I just need to RELAX?
PS - I hoped to get a better picture of the mess today for this post, but when I returned home from work she and Daddy were already cleaning up. Make that Daddy was cleaning up, she was supervising. Ugh.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I can do a bridge. Not for very long, but I feel the walkover is eminent! I've been doing lots of hand stands and round offs. Even in restaurants with my daughter. Thank goodness I am a regular at a few places where we can get away with that kind of behavior. Kind of fun!
Let's examine today's Food Diary:
Breakfast - red delicious apple and 7 honey wheat pretzels (190)
Lunch - 2 hard boiled eggs and 2 saltines (165)
Snacks - Supreme Protein PB&J Bar & Popcorn (300)
Dinner - sliced tomatoes, broccoli & cauliflower, filet mignon (300)
Probably too few calories, but I'm pretty sure I've got something stored if my body needs it. I have to get into a bathing suit Friday at Dorney Park with the kids. More importantly, there's a very good chance I may be on a California beach next week. There's my motivation for the next few days.
I haven't really been doing any regular exercise. That's due to the fact that I got some kind of illness last week that started out as a stomach bug and migrated into some sinus gook. Made me pretty tired and when I'm sick I like to eat bad things. I was convinced that I was probably gaining weight, but I avoided the scale. Only to be pleasantly surprised that I hadn't gained an ounce. I guess my metabolism goes into overdrive when I'm sick. Which would explain why I got so hungry and managed to avoid any major poundage setbacks.
I aspire to get back to my morning workouts, but the next few days will not be conducive to my plan. Today was the kid's first day of school, and since Ells woke me up around 4:30 to tell me she was scared of something, I couldn't get back to sleep. So my 6am alarm was replaced with my 7:15 alarm, which gives me just enough time to shower, get the kids up and fed in time for the school bus. Tomorrow, I have to drag the kids out of bed at 6:30 to get the dogs to their new Daycare for a temperament test in Wilmington, drive back home and do the morning bus thing with the kids again by 8:20. Don't get me started on the whole Doggie Daycare drama. I'll save that for another post. Tomorrow night and Thursday night are cheer nights. I will be driving both nights since NEXT week I will be in LA for work and unable to contribute my driving duties to the carpool. So it looks like Thursday morning and Friday morning may be viable workout times for me. Sucks that this all has to be analyzed so.
Speaking of scheduling conflicts, I also had to turn down my ballet teaching job that was supposed to start this fall. With Elliana's cheerleading, Braedon's baseball and my work schedule that sometimes includes last minute travel plans, I felt like it was just too much and I couldn't commit to EVERY MONDAY NIGHT at 6 to teach a class. I would have ended up maybe teaching half the classes and pissing off a bunch of parents, and possible the school as well. While it was the absolute right thing for me to do, I'm terribly disappointed. It was all this ballet excitement that helped me get off my ass last year. I haven't taken a class for myself in about 4 months. Totally bummed. I have reminded my husband of his duty to go earn double his salary already. But I'm not holding my breath.
I'm starting to come to terms with my current existence that involves a full time job that is turning into a career, and does not include being Suzy homemaker, stay-at-home-mom. I'm still not accepting it, but it's starting to sink in. Not necessarily a good thing, but I don't feel like there is much I can do about it. The impact to our current lifestyle if I were to quit my job would be unacceptable to all 4 of us. Not much more to say.
Pity Party on people!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
This morning I weighed 140.5 lbs. Today was a good day! Watched Most Eligible Dallas while finishing 3 miles on the treadmill this morning. I had some interesting food choices, but overall, I moved more and ate less.
Breakfast - yogurt and a banana
Lunch - Chocolate covered almonds and a chocolate chip cookie. I know, it all started out with a trip to the cafe for a diet coke - they were giving away cookies with every purchase. I do NOT turn down free sweets. And for some reason the chocolate covered almonds seemed like the perfect compliment to the cookie. I had packed my lunch, but I knew this would tide me over.
Late Afternoon snack - apple, 1/2 tomato with a tiny slab of fresh mozzerella, a tiny bowl of whole wheat pasta with a pesto sauce. (this was part of what was supposed to be my lunch that I decided to eat around 4pm as I was pretty hungry).
Dinner - 1C portion of my crock pot concoction - Pork tenderloin, diced tomatoes, white kidney beans, brown rice and taco seasoning. Low cal, tasty and good for you (minus the sodium from the seasoning - but that's part of what makes it good!)
According to my fitness pal app, if today were like today, I'd weigh 135.5 lbs in 5 weeks.
I just need to put about 100 of these days together. That's the hard part.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Spending 3+ hours this week watching Elliana’s tumbling classes has really made we wish I could just stand in the background with my own private spotter and attempt to do all the things they are learning. That would be a great workout! I even went so far as to try to do a back bend this morning. Not sure what happened to my arm strength, but I’m guessing that trying to support 141 pounds is much harder than the 100 or so that I needed to support that last time I actually did one. I could barely get my head off the ground – it wasn’t pretty. But I may have found a new goal in all of this. I want to be able to do an unassisted back walkover in another 4 weeks. I can already do a cartwheel and a round-off (or “round-up” as Ells like to call it). I have one of those exercise balls that I can use to stretch out my back, and I’m pretty sure I know what to do to get my arms stronger. I’ll have to figure out the rest on my own and see what I can accomplish. While I will continue to watch her practices periodically, I need to remember that staying at the gym is far better than sneaking out to McDonald’s across the street for a little snack.
My diet so far today is on track, as usual. You know I usually don’t screw things up until after 1pm.
I’ll check back in later to provide the dirty details.
If anyone knows of an open/adult tumbling class, please share.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
So, apparently vowing to document everything I eat doesn’t necessarily lead to better eating. I guess it works when you actually keep your word and actually document and share your daily intake. Sometimes I feel like I can’t stick to anything for more than a week or so. What is wrong with me?
So, since my last post I have had mostly bad eating days. Today, for example:
Kashi cereal with almond milk (200 calories)
½ Chicken pesto sandwich (200 calories)
8 honey wheat pretzels (120 calories)
2 white chocolate macadamia cookies (340 calories)
It’s only 2pm, I’m up to 860 total calories for the day, and I still have to eat dinner. The last week or so of my diet looks about the same as above, if not worse. I haven’t done any serious cardio in over a week. I did manage to train with a friend at the gym this past Sunday. I hadn’t lifted in at least 6 months. We did chest and biceps, along with some core work. Today is the first day I have full range of motion back in my shoulders. I was up all night due to severe muscle pain in my shoulders and arms. And I’m not usually a wuss when it comes to pain, but what I did Sunday was just plain stupid and I am now paying for it. I’m considering dipping into my cache of Vicodin/Percocet just to take the edge off for today.
I am going to attempt to get back on track starting now and continue to update here with my diet and exercise regimen, assuming I create one. I am back up over 140lbs and really just frustrated and pissed off at myself.
Otherwise life is grand. I got to travel to Chicago last week for work and experienced an unexpected upgrade at the Four Seasons Hotel, a fabulous client reception at Morton’s, and a very overpriced massage the next morning. Elliana is now a fulltime member of a competitive cheerleading team and starts her twice a week tumbling and choreography instruction this week. Braedon is signed up for fall ball in a new league where he will get to try out his pitching skills. Chris will be coaching. I am supposed to be teaching ballet at HAC in September once a week, yet I haven’t been to a ballet class since March. Chris turns 40 on the 16th, and I’ve got a few surprises up my sleeve for him over the next week or 2. And I just got tickets to Dorney Park for the beginning of September. I keep forgetting to tell the kids about it, but I know they will be thrilled.
I’m still contemplating that dragonfly tattoo, but I’m thinking that after 3, I may cross over into some kind of bizarre tattooed counterculture. If it’s any easier to lose weight over there – I’m in!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
She was diagnosed with lung cancer last summer and although she was not going through aggressive treatment, she was able to remain comfortable and relatively healthy for several months before feeling sick and eventually succumbing to this crappy disease. I will say - she lived her life pretty much the way she wanted to and she was loved by everyone who encountered her and was lucky enough to have her in their life.
I could go on and on, but I will share just some of my favorite memories both old and new:
- Her fingernails. They were thick and well manicured. When she told stories at the dining room table, I would notice her hands folding a napkin or smoothing out the tablecloth.
- Her jewelry - mostly costume that she kept in her dresser and would let me peruse and try on anytime I wanted.
- Raiding her pantry closet in Pleasant Hills for chewing gum and candy. Pop-pop loved chocolate, Mom-mom loved her Wrigley's and there was always ample amounts of both for the taking.
- Watching her play Ant Smasher on my smart phone. This kept her entertained while in the hospital this past winter.
- Hearing her say "you're so cute!" to both of my kids while giving them her Mom-mom hugs.
- The look on her face when she would see my daughter. I am so glad I brought Ells to see her in the hospital just a few days before she died. It was a great, happy visit!
- Bringing her GeneralTso's chicken - one of her favs!
- Her love for rice pudding and Vanilla milkshakes
- Recently sharing all my photos and videos of the kids with her on my Mac and watching her reaction to seeing many pictures she had never seen before.
- Dancing in the livingroom in Pleasant Hills at Christmas time.
- Playing bingo and Rummy tiles with her and my kids.
I was a mess at her funeral. I couldn't stop crying. Everytime I saw her laid out in her coffin, or when I saw friends and relatives giving their condolences to my Dad or my Aunts, I cried. I still cry. I miss her very much and even though I spent as much time with her as a could over the years, I wish I had spent more time with her. She was the best story teller - and I could sit and listen to her for hours upon hours talking about the "olden days". She was beautiful inside and out. I hope to have inherited some of her youthful genes, but most of all I hope I have the love and kindness in my heart that she possessed.
A week ago at our pool there I noticed a very large, very beautiful dragonfly just hanging around. The other night we went to a Blue Rocks game, and a dragonfly would not leave us alone. High speed fly-bys, and even landed on my husband's head. I drive by my grandmother's cemetary every day to and from work. It's only open from 8:30-4 each day, so it's normally closed when I'm passing by. Yesterday morning I was running late and noticed the gate was open as I stopped at a red light. I thought about popping in for a visit, but realized I probably should just head to work. The moment the light turned green, a dragonfly landed on the hood of my car, and it flitted around the car for about 2 blocks as I drove away.
I googled it this morning and found the following:Dragonflies are messengers of the elemental world. Some cultures believe they are symbols for renewal, change, maturity, and depth of character. Now I've never been really into the elemental world, but I'm taking all this in and can't help but wonder if someone's trying to tell me something.
I'm keeping my eyes, ears and heart open. I'm am missing my Mom-mom and hoping she has more to tell me in the years to come. I'm also thinking I may need another tattoo . .
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
1. I ditched the blonde hair at a swanky salon in SOHO and spent a fortune doing so
2. I celebrated my 38th birthday all by myself
3. I was a vegetarian (by accident) for about 6 days – the best carpaccio I’ve had broke my streak – totally worth it.
4. I walked and walked and walked and walked – even more than I should have considering every time I got out of a subway station I had to walk at least a block or 2 before I realized I was walking the wrong way. NOTE – the compass app on my Driod SUCKS!!
5. I learned how to tell the difference between a 2/4 March, a 3/4 Polonaise and a 4/4 time signature all with live accompaniment.
6. I met some really sweet, interesting and talented people and dancers
7. I saw NYC Ballet at Lincoln Center - my 1st time!
8. I drank lots of wine
9. I slept a little bit
10. I spent time with a dear old friend, who thankfully had a trip on Friday to save myself from more wine and no sleep – although the 3 days we did spend together wasn’t enough.
So the January funk is long gone. Now I’m having total NYC withdrawal. I’ve got some new opportunities at work that should bring some welcomed change. I’m hoping to get the one that will allow me to travel a bit more. NYC made me realize I really need to get out more. It’s good for me and everyone around me.
This week it’s back to reality. I’m definitely going back for training next year, but hopefully I’ll get out and about way before then!