You Can't Outrun Your Fork

I've been SO dedicated to exercise for the last 4 months, it's almost hard to believe.  I have been going to my CrossFit gym religiously 4-6x per week and working my ass off.  Not literally.  Ironically so, my ass is a little bit bigger than when I started if that's possible. But it's actually muscular, not flabby.  So much so that most of my jeans don't fit anymore.  They are loose in the waist (score!) and tight in the butt and thigh (those darn muscles again!)  I have made jean shopping a bit of a sport now. My mission? Find the perfect jean to fit a CrossFitter's body.  That's right - I'm a CrossFitter. Anyway, I'm getting way off track.  This post is about eating.

While I have been annoying most my Facebook friends with inspirational quotes with each CrossFit check-in, it helped to keep me accountable at first.  Although now, I'm fairly certain that I would be going to the gym as much even if I didn't "check-in",  I do get the occasional - "I love that quote" or "I was motivated to go the the gym when I read your post".  I can't describe how incredible it feels to know that something like that gave someone else the motivation they needed to do something.  It's crazy.  So sorry folks, since MY Facebook is all about ME - I'm not letting up on my almost daily check-ins.  I do, however need to figure out a way to keep me accountable for what I eat.

Food is such a struggle for me.  Growing up with 20-30 hours a week of ballet most of my childhood and adolescence, allowed me to eat pretty much whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  Because of that, I have developed a serious love of food.  I'm sure there's some psychology behind what, when and why I eat.  I should probably take the time to explore that a little bit - but it's doubtful that I will.  So in the meantime I have to come up with a strategy that will assist me in keeping my cravings and binges in check.  I have tried using apps on my phone that work to a certain extent, but like a true addict, I oftentimes just omit certain things I eat (hide), so that I'm just fooling myself. It's kind of ridiculous.  I have tried pills and potions that just make my heart race and I know aren't good for me.  I have tried too many "diets" to count.  But lately, I've just been sticking to the 80/20 rule where I try to eat sensibly most of the time and allow myself the ability to indulge from time to time.  The problem is that most weeks it turns out to be more like 50/50.  Especially over the holidays when cookies and sweets (some of my all-time favorites) are all over the place.

My husband keeps reminding me of Body for Life that I did a hundred years ago with good success.  6 small meals - basically it's calorie control - which really is every diet.  I'm just having a hard time.  I think part of my problem is that I know I can afford to slip a little more than normal because I am working so hard at the gym.  But I don't tend to just slip.  I start by slipping and end up wallowing in dozens of cookies, or whole pints of ice cream.  While I'd like to reverse that mentality into something like "wow - you're doing all this great work, how about complementing it with clean eating and just imagine the gains you would make?"  Not sure why the combination of diet and exercise is so difficult for me.

So this is an open call for some suggestions.  I'm not looking for diet plans, or shakes or supplements.  I know exactly what I need to eat and what I need to stay away from to get me there. My goal is to lose 10-15 pounds of body fat.  Yes - I have that much to lose.  Yes - I know muscle weighs more than fat.  Yes I could be 15 pounds lighter and still have the muscle I have now.  No - I wouldn't be like 0% body fat (I would be much, much more).  Did I mention I'm a Vegan?  100% of the time minus when I'm eating ice cream or cookies.

I'm looking for strategies to help me do what I need to do.  I remember a few years ago there were cases of fudge bars in the office.  I swiftly sent out a mass email proclaiming I would pay anyone $50 who caught me eating a fudge bar.  Yes - there were times when I considered smuggling one into the bathroom and eating it, but i didn't.  Come to think of it - I should have accused whoever put those fudge bars in the freezer of harassment.  What's the statute of limitations on caloric harassment?