My Food Addiction

The first step is admitting you have a problem - right? Ok. I am absolutely, positively convinced that I have some kind of food addiction. I have foods that trigger uncontrollable eating - primarily chocolate. I pretty much think about food all the time. And if there is "forbidden" food around, I can't stop thinking about it.

Here are a few ways I'm working around this addiction.

At work, we have a community fridge/freezer. Someone stocked it with several boxes of fudge bars and chocolate ice cream bars leftover from an event. This happened once before about 3 months ago, and no kidding, I must have eaten 2, 3 sometimes 4 of those bars each day, before they were all gone. So when the email came out this time notifying everyone of the treats, I quickly replied to all and pledged to pay $50 to anyone who caught me eating an ice cream bar. So far it's working, but there are still a few boxes left - I'm trying to be strong.

Tonight after dinner, I was hungry and craving something bad. The kids were eating Swedish Fish. I could have eaten a few handfuls. Instead, I decided to take my little one to Justice for a little retail therapy. I didn't have anything else to eat - yeah me - but I spent $70 on crap she didn't need.

While at Costco yesterday, I noticed they had my favorite 800-lb gorilla chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches. I normally would buy them, have one instead of a real meal, and some nights when everyone was asleep I'd have 1 or 2 just because they are so good. This time, I walked halfway back to my cart, turned around and put them back in the display case. If I don't buy them, I can't eat them.

The other morning while out at breakfast, my DH ordered his weekly cinnamon bun as an appetizer that we usually all share. I resisted even a small bite, knowing that would set me off on a bad binge that might have lasted the whole weekend. I told my husband that ordering that is like doing shots in front of an alcoholic. I think he thinks I may be too dramatic, but I think I'm on to something.

I'm convinced that if I wasn't working out - practically 7 days a week for an hour + each day - I would be morbidly obese. Easily. I don't want to workout to eat anymore. I want to workout and eat right and get smaller. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to use this blog as a food/exercise/body diary for the next 30 days. Each day, I will post what I eat, how many calories I'm ingesting and how I'm feeling about what I'm eating (or not eating!). I will detail my daily workouts and even document my weight and some measurements.

Right now it's Monday night - I weigh 140.5 lbs. I walked/jogged 60 minutes this morning on the treadmill. Burned about 600 calories and ate about 1200 calories. I'll get more detailed on the food tomorrow. I'm too tired to go back and try to remember it all :)

PS. I'm hungry, but I'm afraid to eat anything.