I'm a Quitter!!

As I write this entry, it’s been precisely 9 days, 15 hours and 56 minutes since I had my last cigarette. It was last Monday evening on my way to my over-priced health club that I’m also quitting at the end of the month. I had a free session with a personal trainer at 8pm, and as I exhaled heartily trying to get through my third set of pushups, I wondered if he could smell the nastiness of my smoke breath as he leaned toward me trying to push me through the last few reps. Sorry, Trevor – no more smoke breath for me. Not like I’ll be seeing you anymore but our 1 session was fun!

There are a few things that used to really stress me out when I smoked. #1 – Rain. I used to smoke more than half of the 8-10 cigarettes a day in the car. 3 on the way to work, 3 on the way home, and at least 2 while running errands without the kids in the car. I almost always have the window cracked to ash and ventilate. I rarely keep the window all the way down, because for some reason ashing with the window all the way down invariably leads to stray ashes back into the car. When it rains, the window crack you would think may not cause a problem, however apparently the designers of the Honda Pilot hate smokers, because I swear, despite how small the window crack is, water just pours inside from the windshield. I mean to the point where I carry paper towels in the car just to soak up the water and keep it from short-circuiting my automatic window controls. I was actually considering buying those window guards just so I could smoke in the car during a rainstorm and not get drenched. It’s a little sad that not smoking when it was raining never occurred to me – that was never an option. So last week as I walked to the parking garage and noticed the rain coming, I got a little annoyed thinking I’d be all wet by the time I got home, then I realized I had quit. BONUS!!

The second thing that used to bother me was close-talking. I spend a lot of time in meetings, and the need for some sidebar whispering occurs quite frequently. The problem was, I would often get caught walking into a meeting right after having a smoke, and not having any drink or gum to help wash away the nastiness. I HATED when I had to whisper to someone, as I cringed and prayed they weren’t repulsed by my breath. Luckily I don’t drink coffee, and now that I’ve stopped smoking, I have no problem whispering.

I’m no sure what the trick was this time to quitting. I’ve tried to quit a hundred times before and most attempts last about half a day. Just like all the times before, cold turkey, no patches, pills or gum, just sheer willpower (which I tend not to have). I guess it was the right time for me. I’m done. I’ve tested myself by being around friends that smoke while they were smoking, I have had a few cocktails and been around smoking people, too. And no slips. I still long to be the casual smoker, the girl who can have 1 or 2 on the weekend when out with friends, etc. Unfortunately, I realize that 1 weekend like that and I’m back to addicted in less than a week. So casual smoking is not an option.


So what’s next? Back to school madness, the kids’ fall sports, another new haircut and ballet classes – all without smoking, SWEET!