10 Weeks Post Op - Mind games

So much has changed since my last post.  And yet so much has not changed at all.

The crutches and brace are history.  I'm still going to PT twice a week.  I have as much pain and difficulty moving around as I did before surgery (if not more).  I'm told that is normal.  I'm trying to be patient.  Meanwhile my body is changing.  I'm losing muscle.  I'm gaining fat.  Workouts are programmed at my gym and I'm not doing them.  Maybe twice a week I will "workout."  I end up feeling busted for several days afterwards.  Not only my hip and the surrounding area, but the rest of my body as well since my workouts are so few and far between.  I get that "OMG I can't move and everything hurts" sensation at least once a week.

I am back to coaching, thank goodness.  Being able to do what I love and help other athletes to improve their fitness has definitely been my saving grace this last month.  I'm still feeling a little disconnected from everyone because we're not "in the trenches together".  There's something very bonding about doing workouts with people vs. watching people do workouts, or hearing about other people's workouts when you can't participate.  It's always nice to be able to relate to your athletes when you've done the same workout an hour before you coach them so you can give them some personal insights about what they are about to experience.  There's something special about being able to execute a movement with good form to demonstrate to your class - and there's quite another when you attempt to get into the proper position and you have to apologize for not being able to . . . and you hope like hell your words are sufficient and your athletes can use their imaginations and that you're not giving them a less-than-optimal class experience.

I'm still wondering if surgery was the right decision.  I can't help but wonder where I'd be if I hadn't had the surgery.  I know that I am only about halfway through my recovery (maybe less) and that I still have a lot of healing to do.   My impatience definitely gets in my way often.  I have started to seriously consider the possibility that I may not be able to continue doing CrossFit in the manner I trained before and that makes me crazy.  I am so grateful for the people around me who do their best to try and make my experience a little more pleasant while I continue this journey. I have so much more to accomplish!!   I know what my end goal is, and I just have to pray that I can get there without losing my mind the in the meantime.

Operation "Pre-Op"

So I have decided after almost a year to go under the knife and fix my hip.  Most of you know I've had a labral tear and some worn out cartilage, but when the prospect of surgery and being out for 4-6 months was presented to me last summer I thought hmmmmm . . . maybe it's not that bad and I should just try to work around it.  It's not like I can't walk or function day to day.  I just can't do a lot of what I'm trying to do while training.  So a few injections later and numerous physical therapy companies and sessions later, I've come to the conclusion that it's not getting any better and my training has hit a wall.  And I'm not quite ready to give up my hopes of becoming really competitive at CrossFit. And I'd like to not need a hip replacement when I'm 50.

So I'm taking a HUGE leap and will have surgery June 10th.  I'm told I can't do anything for 10 days which is when I go back to see my surgeon and get my stitches out. After that my hope is to start pretty intensive therapy as well as some kind of conditioning to stay active since it will be many months before I'm back to full CrossFit activities.

The procedures I'm having include a fix to the tear (which is actually pretty minor), some reshaping of my femur (which is causing some discomfort in flexion - sort of like an impingement but not really) and the big daddy of them all  - micro fracture which should add some scar tissue to the layer of cartilage that is missing and causing most of my discomfort and presumably holding me back the most.

Dr. Kropf does this surgery quite often and with much success.  He also has extensive experience with athletes (mostly professional actually) and he understands how aggressively I'd like to rehab.  Not just the hip, but the rest of my body so when the hip is healed, I'm ready to go.

My recovery will include 4-6 weeks of no weight bearing activities,  And it will be 6 months before I'm back to full impact activities.  For those of you that know CrossFit - this means muscle snatches, muscle cleans and push presses, will be my staple barbell moves for awhile.  No push jerks and no power anything, no "landing" in a quarter squat or full squat on anything. This also means no running or box jumps, which actually is Ok with me (hate them both!)

I think the hardest part for me to accept is the amount of assistance I'll require while recovering.  I was on crutches last fall for a minor ankle sprain and man did it suck!  This is going to be 100x worse and I cringe at the thought of needing to be waited on, and driven places, and just not having much independence at all.  I will want to be back coaching (even if it's me just giving cues while reclining) as soon as possible.  I'm going to miss my routine terribly.

So while I may not be able to participate in the 2017 Open, I'm definitely hoping to be competitive in 2018 season.

With that, I hereby declare the next 30 days "Operation Pre-Op".  I will be taking this next month to focus on my strength and endurance in an effort to be in great shape by June 10th.  I will be focused on eating well, working out "smart", stretching,  and sleeping.  Wish me luck!

#hopethisworks